Recently the ideas of boundaries, self-care, grief, guilt and social expectations have come up. Society sets unrealistic standards/ expectations for people. Society touts boundaries as selfish when we set them for our mental health and self-care. However, it is not selfish to set boundaries for your mental health. It is self-care. I know society wants us to see self-care as spa days, get-aways and running away from our daily lives; something to spend money on.
What if we took time each day for ourselves?
We don’t have to spend money on ourselves for it to be self-care. A slow morning sipping our favorite morning beverage and having a slow breakfast instead of racing through our morning. Or ending our day with a few quiet minutes to find the moment of joy or gratitude in our day. Or to go for a short walk. Or sit out in nature; watch the trees with a breeze in them, squirrels playing or birds in the sky. Maybe taking a few minutes for a hobby.
What feels like self-care to you?
Self-care can also be giving ourselves grace and kindness when grief sets us back. This week brought back the topic of grief. Grief can be an ugly beast filled with sadness, anger, guilt, and regret. Recently, a former co-worker passed away. I didn’t know them well, but I still felt sad. Sad for her family and close friends that were deeply affected by the passing. The idea of guilt for losing contact and not reaching out came up in our conversations. Daily life can take us away from each other; this is nothing to feel guilty about even in the event of death.
The ideas of grief, guilt, boundaries and self-care all intertwined with one another as I thought about what is important in my life and the lives of those around me (as we often do at the loss of another).
It made me wonder:
* How do I show up for the important people and things happening in my life?
*Do I take time to reach out even when life feels busy?
* Do I prioritize people over things like my job or the errands I need to run?
This got me thinking about how society’s messages are often opposed to people taking time to honor what is meaningful to them and their lives. Why is it when people set boundaries to help themselves live the life that is important to them it often opposes society. Why do we judge each other based on rules that are meant to keep us small, keep us in a box? When will we stop comparing and competing? When will we see ourselves as enough just as we are? We are all worthy of love, joy and creating our own meaningful life. We are all worthy of feeling safe and setting appropriate boundaries. We are all worthy of self-care, grief without guilt and having our own opinions. We are all worthy. We are all enough.
